Notes & Swearies

Professor Bernard Fuck of Saint Arsehole’s College, Oxford ponders your Profanisaurial problems

Dear Professor Fuck, OUR recent family holiday enjoying the history and culture of Bucharest was marred only my mother’s discovery of a human shit in between the layers of sheets on her hotel room bed. Like all regular Profanisaurus readers, I am familiar with the technique of ‘top-decking’ a hotel bathroom as a means of showing displeasure at poor service, but I must confess that this bedroom linen alternative was a new one on me; perhaps I have led a sheltered life. Nevertheless, I wondered if you could tell me the correct term for this practice so that I can be sure to leave an accurate TripAdvisor review. Mathew Shepherd, Derby The following definition springs immediately to mind: sleep on a chocolate v. To shit the bed. In upmarket hotels, it is…

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Viz (Digital) - 1 Issue, September 2023

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