SPANKS FOR NOTHING!

Farage fuming over wank bank closure

FORMER UKIP leader and seven-time failed MP NIGEL FARAGE has embarked on a furious tour of the UK media after his wank bank was suddenly CLOSED without explanation. The frog-faced arsehole popped up on television and radio stations up and down the country this week, de-tailing the terrifying and confusing experience. “I first realised something was wrong when I went into my shed at the weekend to knock one out,” Farage told Talk TV’s Julia Hartley-Brewer. “My wifi was down at the time, so I was intending to get into the zone by summoning up an image of Penny Mordaunt holding that big sword at the coronation.” However, when the hateful gobshite tried to conjure the patriotically arousing visual, he found that nothing appeared. He tried a second and third…

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Viz (Digital) - 1 Issue, October 2023

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