SHE STOOPS TO CONKER

A FULCHESTER high school’s famously anti-woke headmistress has hit back at critics of her plan to make CONKERS a compulsory part of the school timetable, years after many schools outlawed the popular autumnal playground game on health and safety grounds. Since taking the reins at Fulchester Academy of Superb Excellence, formerly Fulchester High School, in September last year, head Anita Birbling has courted controversy with her no-nonsense approach to her pupils’ education. Imposing a regime founded upon so called ‘old-fashioned values’ such as mindless rote-learning and unquestioning respect for authority backed up by iron-discipline, straight-talking Birbling has turned around the school – which was in special measures and on fire at the time of her appointment. “The Academy remains in special measures, but is no longer on fire,” the say-it-like-it-is educationalist…