LIFT LOCK-IN

IT’S THE STUFF of bad dreams. To be in a lift which breaks down between floors, stuck having to make small talk with a stranger for a couple of hours until your eventual release. How much worse it would be if it were somebody like Nigel Farage, Naomi Campbell, or him out of Mrs Brown’s Boys? On the other hand, you could be trapped with one of your favourite celebrities and have them all to yourself for a couple of hours as they entertained you with stories and anecdotes from their life in showbiz. It could be the best two hours of your life! We went on the streets to ask ordinary people which famous person they would like to be trapped in a lift with for a couple of hours…

…I’VE always loved Pavarotti, so being trapped with him for 2 hours in a lift would be wonderful. It would be a bit of a squeeze, as I weigh 28 stone, as does he, which may explain why the lift broke in the first place. And I imagine he wouldn’t be able to sing to me, as it would be far too loud for such a small space. So we’d just have to chat about classical music or something until the engineers came. Edna Ballsup, shop assistant …I’D like to be trapped in a lift with Gary Lineker. I’ve followed his career since he started at Leicester in 1978 and I think he is a tremendous ambassador for the game. And if there was ever a lull in the conversation, we…

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Viz (Digital) - 1 Issue, May 2022

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