DEATH WISH HOGWASH

Actor still alive, says local man

CHARLES Bronson, star of the Death Wish revenge film franchise, was one of the tragic losses of 2003. But according to a Fulchester man currently awaiting trial on shoplifting charges, the craggy-faced actor is alive and well and patronising a local builders’ merchants. “Reports of the stony-faced actor’s demise more than 20 years ago have been greatly exaggerated,” said retired jobseeker turned amateur online news-hound Les Folley in a post on his blog Fulchester Uncovered. “He was in BigFix last week. There’s no doubt about it.” “I’ve seen all his films at least a dozen times, so I know his face like the back of my hand.” And now the 67-year-old sleuth is setting out to discover exactly how the leather-faced Death Wish 2 star managed to fake his own death…

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Viz (Digital) - 1 Issue, March 2025

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