Roger's PROFANISAURU

An Update of Britain’s Favourite Lexicon of Filth and Profanity

profanisaurus@viz.co.uk Advanced British Standard 1. n. Baccalaureate - style qualifications for 16 to 19 year olds that will apparently replace A-levels and once again make everything wonderful forever. 2. n. Post-Brexit alternative to the British Standard Handful, ushering in a nationwide utopia of Barbara Windsor-sized norks. Aladdin’s rug n. An inch-thick mat of shit tickets laid upon the water’s surface before embarking on one’s dirty business, with the intention of leaving the shark’s mouth spotlessly clean after flushing. arse parcels n. The goods which fall out of a ripped shopping bag. aspartame daddy n. Bloke who pretends to be rich in order to get his end away. A fake sugar daddy. band aid 1. n. prop. Charitable supergroup headed by Bob Geldof who raised lots of money with Do They Know It’s Christmas? 2. n.…

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Viz (Digital) - 1 Issue, March 2024

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