TOP OF THE PLOPS!

No Shit! Bristol Stool Chart “Rigged” says Whistleblower

EXCREMENT fans were up in arms yesterday after claims that a sinister network of back-room corruption and secret rigged the Bristol Stool Chart for DECADES! Poop-pickers were shocked to discover that though the chart-smashing ‘Separate Hard Lumps Like Nuts’ has been at number one in the Bristol Stool Chart now since 1997, its shit-parade-topping position has been down to back-handers and sustained industry pressure, and not the stool’s actual popularity with toilet users. The Stool Chart, which grades the consistency and shape of human faeces for medical purposes, is eagerly followed by doctors and pay-offs has every Sunday evening to bum-cigar enthusiasts alike, with fans tuning in hear the ‘runs-down’ as it is broadcast from Bristol Royal Infirmary hospital radio. But the dominance of one type of copper bolt at…

You're reading a preview of

Viz (Digital) - 1 Issue, February 2023

DiscountMags is a licensed distributor (not a publisher) of the above content and Publication through Zinio LLC. Accordingly, we have no editorial control over the Publications. Any opinions, advice, statements, services, offers or other information or content expressed or made available by third parties, including those made in Publications offered on our website, are those of the respective author(s) or publisher(s) and not of DiscountMags. DiscountMags does not guarantee the accuracy, completeness, truthfulness, or usefulness of all or any portion of any publication or any services or offers made by third parties, nor will we be liable for any loss or damage caused by your reliance on information contained in any Publication, or your use of services offered, or your acceptance of any offers made through the Service or the Publications. For content removal requests, please contact Zinio.