“FINGERS CROSSED I GET THROUGH THIS CHRISTMAS!”

Local man hopes to avoid festive incident this year

A NORTH East man is hoping for a quiet Christmas after his last four festive seasons were ruined by disasters out of his control. Since 2020, Bruce Cornhole of Monkseaton has become embroiled in one high-action incident after another over the holiday season, finding himself at the scenes of violent, terrifying events which he has to remedy. EXCLUSIVE! And 58-year-old Bruce says he is now sick to the back teeth of these epic takedowns bringing chaos to his well-laid yuletide plans. “Every ruddy year I seem to get involved in some ridiculous violent episode – hijackings, terror plots, robberies, hostage taking – you name it,” groaned the former security guard. “I’ve had enough, and so has the missus.” Bruce’s troubles began five years ago after he went to pick up his…

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Viz (Digital) - 1 Issue, December/January 2025

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