HIGH STREET HUMBUG!

British Shopkeepers Prepare for Slim Pickings this Christmas

XMASCLUSIVE! THE Christmas spirit could be in short supply this year as millions of tight-fisted Scrooges plot to leave Britain’s brave shopkeepers in the lurch by limiting the amount they spend on celebrating the birthday of our Lord. And Fulchester Chamber of Commerce kingpin PHIL BAGGS says the town’s retailers are braced for a Yuletide mauling at the hands of local skinflints. “Ever since Christmas 2023, when consumer spending rose by a paltry 1.7%, the fear of our members has been that the penny-pinching Grinch fraternity would be emboldened by having got away with it last time,” he told reporters. “Now those fears look likely to become a real-life nightmare, as the so-called cost of living crisis is giving misers the perfect cover to do Christmas on a shoestring and kick…

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Viz (Digital) - 1 Issue, December/January 2025

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