EASY AS SLEIGH, B, C!

SOME things are as certain as the rising of the Sun in the morning, the ebbing and flowing of the tide, and the shitting of bears in the woods. And for the department store Santa, it’s a certainty that each year, some snotty-nosed, know-it-all little kid will claim that if you are the real Santa Claus, you will be able to name all your nine reindeer. A jolly “Ho! Ho! Ho!” and asking them what they want for Christmas will cut no ice with these obnoxious little shits who want to see you squirm, and nothing less than all nine names tripped effortlessly off the tongue will shut the little fuckers up. But who has got the time to learn the names of these magic, flying ungulates? Nobody. And luckily…

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Viz (Digital) - 1 Issue, December/Jan 2022

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