WATER WAY TO GO

WITH most reservoirs baked dry by August, water is set to be a scarce commodity this summer. And following a spate of thefts up and down the country in recent weeks, police have warned the public to be on the lookout for gangs of marauding, mutant ‘water pirates’. The latest incident occurred in Leeds yesterday, when a mob of mohican-haired mutants took a bottle of Highland Spring from a 34-year-old woman coming out of Holland and Barrett on Boar Lane. The gang, driving the chassis of a 1942 jeep, pulled up along side her and a seven-foot, leather-and-chain-clad giant, carrying a dwarf in a backpack, jumped out and snatched the water. The gang, screaming, whooping and giving ‘rebel yells’ then made their escape down Neville Street towards the Victoria Bridge.…

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Viz (Digital) - 1 Issue, August 2024

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