My alcoholic diet

…while Roger Lewis reaches for his emergency corkscrew – after a cardiac arrest

Of any hundred people struck down with a cardiac arrest outside hospital, only ten will reach A&E alive, ambulance availability permitting. Of those ten, five will die quickly – in the corridors no doubt – and three will suffer brain damage from the oxygen deprivation. Only two will survive to fight another day. Evelyn Waugh didn't. He dropped dead on the lavatory at Combe Florey. Peter Sellers didn't. He turned bright blue and collapsed in the Dorchester. The other day, comedian Tony Slattery, whom we all loved in Who's Line Is It Anyway, had a fatal heart attack at 65. I did survive, after my dramatic myocardial infarction in Morrison's carpark in Hastings, which the locals still talk about. All these statistics ought to be sobering, except that is not…

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The Oldie (Digital) - 1 Issue, April 2025

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