Plane English

Claudia Savage-Gore worries that Hector isn’t up to speed

HECTOR RETURNED FROM school today, asking what “a PJ” was. Assuming he meant pyjamas, I began hastily searching the Boden app for new nightwear, his question having alerted me to the fact that he’s currently sleeping in foul Minecraft onesies on rotation, but is due to attend a sleepover at Claridge’s next week. I know! He protested that PJ couldn’t possibly mean pyjamas, given the way his “friend” Alessandro used it. This kid is one of the turbo brats in Hector’s class, whose dad is some kind of tech mogul and whose mother is a former Victoria’s Secret model. Asked Hector for the context, now frantically scrolling Jack Wills, and was told that Alessandro had said that they were meant to spend half term in Florida, but that his mother…

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The Critic (Digital) - 1 Issue, November 2024

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