HOT HOUSE

Going large Claudia Savage-Gore is traumatised by an encounter with the body-fat scales

TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE SHOCK. No exaggeration. Idly buying probiotics and optimistic collagen pills in Boots, I decided to stand on its special bmi scales — smug in the knowledge I haven’t broken eight stone since overdoing the croissants in Paris on my gap year. Went a step further, and agreed — at the sodding machine’s suggestion — to hold the bars on the side that measure your body fat. And, breathe, I was in the “poor” section! Not even average — literally poor! Let me repeat that — at 37 per cent fat (yes, I am one third fat) I am essentially obese at seven and a half stone. I don’t know where it is either. I am fat and bone. I was expecting to be in the “good” category at…

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The Critic (Digital) - 1 Issue, June 2023

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