PCPP BATTLEMECH V30

1 COCKPIT Lined with posters of Gordon Freeman, water-cooled tower PCs, and PCPP magazine spreads to keep moral high. 2 GYROS AND ACTUATORS Created by none other than Gabe Newell himself in his Steam Workshop, these allow precise, rapid movement. 3 ARMOUR PLATING When a big console gaming exclusive foe appears, these tough reinforced armour plates mitigate its attacks. 4 JUMP JETS PC gaming moves faster than console gaming, and these jump jets allow the PCPP BattleMech V30 to outmanoeuvre foes. 5 TARGET TRACKING SYSTEM Great for keeping track of incoming releases, as well as hardware orders from Overclockers and Amazon. 6 BALLISTIC CANNONS If console gamers are foolish enough to try to break into PCPP Towers on foot, then these bad boys welcome them. 7 MISSILES Great for wiping out pockets of weak, underpowered gaming consoles, with wide area-of-effect explosive damage dealt. 8…