Travel writer Annabel Fenwick Elliott, 38, understands where Kelly is coming from and is just as open about the downsides of parenting. This is something many mums may feel unable to discuss as they don't want to be seen as not loving their children or embracing the parenting experience. “It’s really hard to get anything done and I’m not very good at mindlessly playing with my toddler,” admits Annabel, who is mum to Jasper, two. “I’m excited for when he can talk and have conversations, and we can role play together, watch movies and do all that kind of stuff.
“I think I do OK as a parent. I just find the days very long when I’m trying to conjure up activities to keep him interested. Particularly when he was younger, chasing a maniacal tornado around the house and stopping him from killing himself all day on a loop was just very boring.”
OTHER PEOPLE'S CHILDREN
Annabel also understands why Kelly says that when she meets up with friends with children, she doesn't want to “sit there watching people parent”.
Describing her own son as “semi-feral”, Annabel confesses, “Other kids gross me out. I’m squeamish about food mess, yogurt hands, crumbs in the car seat… I’ve always just found it disgusting. I still don’t like children. I don’t find other children cute. Their snot grosses me out and I don’t like being around them when they’re eating.”
Annabel's decision to have Jasper with her husband, Julius Scholtes, 31, a helicopter pilot, came as a shock to those close to her. It wasn't in her plan until her mid-thirties, when her “biological clock went off like an alarm all of a sudden”.
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“I think everyone was surprised when I got pregnant, but my family were all very relieved as they thought I never would.”
Annabel relates to why Kelly has lost friends who are parents because her life is so different to theirs, and she frankly admits she's not the kind of mother she imagined she'd be.
“When I first found out I was pregnant, I thought, 'I'm going to become one of those hippy travel mums who takes their baby everywhere around the world,' like those bucket list families, living on planes - and it will all be great,” she says. But the reality was very different, as she found she “hates” travelling with Jasper.
“I’ve tried to take him on holidays and found it all much more stressful than being at home,” she says. “A lot of the time, I’m bored, I’m frustrated and I’m tired.”
However, the fact Annabel doesn’t find parenting fulfilling doesn’t mean she doesn’t adore her young son.
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“I’ve loved Jasper since the moment we met, and it’s definitely getting easier as he grows,” she says. “Eighteen to 24 months were the worst for me. I didn’t have even a moment to myself. I breastfed him until he was two and we still co-sleep, so it’s still very full-on, but at least he sleeps through the night and can play independently a bit.”
Annabel, who recently moved from the UK to Mauritius so ...