‘I'd like a hall pass for a night with Jack Whitehall!'

Fun, fierce and fabulous, we love it when we get to chat with Vanessa Feltz. We catch up with her just after her stint on This Morning as their resident agony aunt, and despite a busy morning giving advice to the nation, the bubbly presenter still has enough puff for a long natter with us.
Honest and open, Vanessa, 58, talks to us about her weight loss – “I don’t deserve any pats on the back for it,” she says – and how she’s been “bickering like hell” with her fiancé and partner of 14 years, singer Ben Ofoedu.
The seasoned journalist has been doing her best to keep busy in lockdown with her role alongside Holly Willoughby and Philip Schofield as well as her BBC Radio 2 and BBC London radio shows, but there’s still a gaping hole in her day.
She’s desperately missing her daughters Allegra, 34, and Saskia, 31, and her three grandchildren Zeke, five, Neroli, three, and one-year-old AJ, telling us, “My grandbabies say I’m a fairy grandmother because I try and organise lovely things with them. In normal life I see them almost every day and pick them up from school and we’re very close. I’m very lucky in that way, so I miss them so much.”
Vanessa’s 30-year career has not only seen her host her own chat show The Vanessa Show –which could be making a comeback, by the way – but she has appeared on Celebrity Big Brother, Strictly Come Dancing and Celebrity Fit Club. Her showbiz connections mean she’s often at the best parties in town and was even a guest at Katie Price and Peter Andre’s extravagant wedding in 2005. But one celebrity she’d love to be in a room with is comedian Jack Whitehall, who once revealed he was “having heart palpitations” over a saucy snap of Vanessa in lingerie. Oo-er!
Here, we chat to Vanessa about how she is coping in lockdown, her sex schedule and why having a gastric bypass changed her life…
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Hi Vanessa! Have you been keeping busy in lockdown?
I think so. I’ve already turned out every drawer and cupboard and I’m not a hoarder, so it’s not like I had mounds of stuff to go through. I’ve already tidied every possible nook and cranny. I’ve gardened like an absolute ferocious fiend, as if any moment the Chelsea Flower Show is going to come and give me marks out of 10 or something. In truth, I feel a bit unsettled and don’t think I can cosy up with a book or necessarily get into a film – I feel a bit on edge to do anything like that. I’m looking for physically active things to keep distracted so that by the end of it I’ll feel very tired.
Who are you missing from normal life?
My children and my grandchildren, desperately. It’s the longest I’ve not seen them in my life. My daughter Saskia has a one-year-old, AJ, and I wasn’t able to see him on his birthday. He reaches out to me when he sees me on FaceTime. He doesn’t understand why he can’t get to me. It’s very hard and I miss them hugely.
You love being a grandma, don’t you?
I do. It’s the absolute best thing in my entire life. Every day I send my grandchildren a photography challenge and they have to take photographs of 10 different things and send them to me. I don’t want them to forget me – especially the baby.
How are your daughters coping?
They’re OK and they’re getting on with it. They’re very good girls and not making a fuss. I’ve always said if they weren’t my daughters I’d love them to be my friends.
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It’s such a tough time for everyone…
Totally. Ben and I have been bickering away like hell. Sometimes I’m like, “I love you so much, I’m so pleased I’m in lockdown with you.” And sometimes I’m like, “I cannot stand you. Please don’t talk to me for the rest of the day,” and you realise it’s only half past nine in the morning! We’re arguing quite a lot and certainly much more than we usually do. Also making up more than we usually do and being really grateful for each other and detesting each other all at the same time.
Is it nice for you both to have that time together?
Yes and no. On balance I’m very glad he’s here and I’d hate to be on my own. We’re mainly getting on fine, but I wouldn’t say it’s plain sailing. Also, he’s used to touring and has got this new band Boyz On Block and they were meant to be on tour. It was so disappointing when it got cancelled. He’s fed up and I don’t blame him. The bit where you had to take your diary and draw a line through the whole thing was a bit of a shock to the system.
You said before that Ben has never seen you without make-up. Has that gone out of the window now?
Not really, no. I’m still wearing make-up for This Morning and going to work at Radio 2 and BBC Radio London. I do put on a bit of lippy as the day wears on, just for my own sake more than anything else. Ben’s been doing my dark roots for me – he’s done a really good job. I felt horrible with the dark roots coming through and having to soak my acrylic nails off. I shaved his head too, but I drew the line at giving him a pedicure.
You’ve previously admitted to scheduling sex. Is that still the case?
Who needs a schedule now? There’s nothing else on the schedule apart from that. It’s the only thing that stops us having a conversation and therefore an argument [Laughs].
You’ve lost an amazing three and a half stone. Have you been able to maintain your weight loss during lockdown?
It was a gastric bypass, so it makes it a lot easier. If you want a Ferrero Rocher, you’re likely to have one, instead of the whole lot, because there’s a limit to how much you can eat. I made a magnificent spag bol last night, but I could only have a small bowlful. That saves me from myself. It’s not because I’m a wonderful person, it’s because I had this operation. I don’t deserve any pats on the back for it.
Have you ever felt body-shamed over the years?
Numerous times. When The Vanessa Show started, I think it was more accepted then to say all sorts of horrible things. I’ve had pictures taken of me on holiday by the paparazzi with my bum looking like a balloon and on the front cover of magazines. It’s not the greatest moment I’ve ever had. I hope this gastric bypass will put an end to all of that. I’m an easy size 12 now, so that’s quite good.
Are you feeling body confident now?
Yeah, I look OK, but there’s no one to see me except for Ben. I haven’t got into this getting dressed up in lockdown and putting on a ballgown to take out the rubbish.
Have you been exercising?
Yeah, we’ve got a running machine and a cross-trainer. We’ve been using the outdoor exercise opportunity to go and walk. I live in London right near the Abbey Road studios, so I’ve found a good place to walk is right into the West End – because no one does it. It’s empty. I’ve been cooking too and so has Ben – we’ve been quite competitive with it.
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Jack Whitehall said he was lusting after you after your recent lingerie shoot…
I know and it’s entirely mutual. I’m delighted, thrilled and honoured. If he wanted to come and join me in lockdown, I’m sure Ben would understand. I’d like a hall pass for one interlude with Jack Whitehall. That would be fantastic.
Do you and Ben have hall passes?
Absolutely not. He’d go mad!
So what’s the latest with your wedding?
Ben actually mentioned it last night. He said, “When we get out the other side, I really think we should do it.” He said it so sweetly. So, watch this space.
What would be your dream ceremony?
Terribly small. Just my family and Ben’s family and friends. I’d love to have it in the garden and very informal. I almost fancy a picnic, with really pretty coloured picnic blankets and plates, glasses and napkins and lots of flowers. It would have to be somewhere that’s always warm. Like a high picnic tea, don’t you think that would be fun?
We love it!
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