She may be battling terrible heartbreak after her “trust was broken”, but Vanessa Feltz is refusing to let her recent split shatter her spirit.
The TV personality has had a horribly rocky start to 2023 after the shock break-up of her 16-year relationship with cheating fiancé, Ben Ofoedu.
But rather than licking her wounds in private, This Morning’s agony aunt has been remarkably open and honest about the roller coaster of emotions she’s been on, becoming a beacon of inspiration for other women going through difficult life changes.
Last week, during a chat with new, Vanessa, 61, told us how her friends have rallied in support, revealing the strong bond she shares with her This Morning co-stars, Holly Willoughby and Alison Hammond.
[https://cdn.magzter.com/1583506613/1681195541/articles/HWcQvCj-i1681211300566/1062101291.jpg]
“I’ve known Alison for about 21 years, and Holly for 10 – it’s a long time,” she says. “We’re proper friends in real life. It’s not just a TV thing, it’s a real thing. Both of those women are 100% there for me, and have been in various different circumstances.”
Explaining how they’ve provided vital support during her recent turmoil, she adds, “Without question, they’re among the first women I hear from. They’re great women and they’re great friends. What you see on TV is what they’re really like, and they’re very funny. They are excellent company and tremendous for a girls’ night out.”
The TalkTV host’s life was turned upside down on Christmas Day 2022, when she received Instagram messages exposing 50-year-old Ben’s infidelities.
The Phats & Small singer was away starring in pantomime at the time, while the shell-shocked mum-of-two was spending the day with her daughters.
[https://cdn.magzter.com/1583506613/1681195541/articles/HWcQvCj-i1681211300566/0111982886.jpg]
A few weeks later, Vanessa bravely took to Instagram to post a video announcing the split, saying, “I haven’t been on Instagram for three weeks, and that’s because my relationship with Ben is over after 16 years.
“I honestly didn’t know what to say, but now it’s clear that it’s over, and I really do feel that once the trust in a relationship is gone, you can’t really get it back.
“So I just wanted to say that obviously I feel incredibly sad and I am pretty disappointed and shocked and all those horrible things, but also full of resolve. I’m not going to let this defeat me.”
The star has stuck to her word by throwing herself into various work commitments, reinforcing close friendships and spending time with her beloved family, including daughters Saskia and Allegra, and their children.
Already famous for dishing out advice on This Morning, Vanessa has become a poster girl for resilience in the face of adversity, and last week it was clear what she was thinking of when she opened up about the dangers of catastrophising.
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“I would give other people the same advice I’ve given myself, which is basically just take it day by day,” she said. “Otherwise, it’s very easy to catastrophise and think, ‘Everything has changed. I don’t feel normal. I don’t know how long this is going to go on – what if it goes on forever? What if I’m never happy? What if I don’t recover?’
“You can quickly fast-forward to a place of complete panic, shock and turmoil that whatever it is you thought you could rely on, you can’t, and whatever you thought was a permanent and a constant, isn’t.”
Vanessa described these feelings as “very derailing”, but encouraged anyone going through a life change to take things step by step. But even defiant Vanessa admits “it’s not easy” to pick yourself up and carry on.
Talking about the importance of breaking down the day, she says, “Do it in small increments. Just focus on the actual thing you’re doing at the time, and try not to see the whole thing as an engulfing situation of total chaos that’s out of control.
“It’s about being productive. You’re just keeping on keeping on, but you’re doing it in a very small way. And you’re still alive at the end of it. I think that’s the way forward.”
While the star has a roster of famous friends she can turn to, she also reflected on how other friendships in her life are important to her.
“You’ll have girlfriends who get it and have been through the same, and know what you mean, and have your back – and that is what you really need,” she says. “You need friends in your corner, because other things – job, money, relationships – can go south. But your friends will sta...
The TV personality has had a horribly rocky start to 2023 after the shock break-up of her 16-year relationship with cheating fiancé, Ben Ofoedu.
But rather than licking her wounds in private, This Morning’s agony aunt has been remarkably open and honest about the roller coaster of emotions she’s been on, becoming a beacon of inspiration for other women going through difficult life changes.
Last week, during a chat with new, Vanessa, 61, told us how her friends have rallied in support, revealing the strong bond she shares with her This Morning co-stars, Holly Willoughby and Alison Hammond.
[https://cdn.magzter.com/1583506613/1681195541/articles/HWcQvCj-i1681211300566/1062101291.jpg]
“I’ve known Alison for about 21 years, and Holly for 10 – it’s a long time,” she says. “We’re proper friends in real life. It’s not just a TV thing, it’s a real thing. Both of those women are 100% there for me, and have been in various different circumstances.”
Explaining how they’ve provided vital support during her recent turmoil, she adds, “Without question, they’re among the first women I hear from. They’re great women and they’re great friends. What you see on TV is what they’re really like, and they’re very funny. They are excellent company and tremendous for a girls’ night out.”
The TalkTV host’s life was turned upside down on Christmas Day 2022, when she received Instagram messages exposing 50-year-old Ben’s infidelities.
The Phats & Small singer was away starring in pantomime at the time, while the shell-shocked mum-of-two was spending the day with her daughters.
[https://cdn.magzter.com/1583506613/1681195541/articles/HWcQvCj-i1681211300566/0111982886.jpg]
A few weeks later, Vanessa bravely took to Instagram to post a video announcing the split, saying, “I haven’t been on Instagram for three weeks, and that’s because my relationship with Ben is over after 16 years.
“I honestly didn’t know what to say, but now it’s clear that it’s over, and I really do feel that once the trust in a relationship is gone, you can’t really get it back.
“So I just wanted to say that obviously I feel incredibly sad and I am pretty disappointed and shocked and all those horrible things, but also full of resolve. I’m not going to let this defeat me.”
The star has stuck to her word by throwing herself into various work commitments, reinforcing close friendships and spending time with her beloved family, including daughters Saskia and Allegra, and their children.
Already famous for dishing out advice on This Morning, Vanessa has become a poster girl for resilience in the face of adversity, and last week it was clear what she was thinking of when she opened up about the dangers of catastrophising.
[https://cdn.magzter.com/1583506613/1681195541/articles/HWcQvCj-i1681211300566/0199691990.jpg]
“I would give other people the same advice I’ve given myself, which is basically just take it day by day,” she said. “Otherwise, it’s very easy to catastrophise and think, ‘Everything has changed. I don’t feel normal. I don’t know how long this is going to go on – what if it goes on forever? What if I’m never happy? What if I don’t recover?’
“You can quickly fast-forward to a place of complete panic, shock and turmoil that whatever it is you thought you could rely on, you can’t, and whatever you thought was a permanent and a constant, isn’t.”
Vanessa described these feelings as “very derailing”, but encouraged anyone going through a life change to take things step by step. But even defiant Vanessa admits “it’s not easy” to pick yourself up and carry on.
Talking about the importance of breaking down the day, she says, “Do it in small increments. Just focus on the actual thing you’re doing at the time, and try not to see the whole thing as an engulfing situation of total chaos that’s out of control.
“It’s about being productive. You’re just keeping on keeping on, but you’re doing it in a very small way. And you’re still alive at the end of it. I think that’s the way forward.”
While the star has a roster of famous friends she can turn to, she also reflected on how other friendships in her life are important to her.
“You’ll have girlfriends who get it and have been through the same, and know what you mean, and have your back – and that is what you really need,” she says. “You need friends in your corner, because other things – job, money, relationships – can go south. But your friends will sta...
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New UK (Digital) - 1 Issue, April 17, 2023