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32 Articles

Read Metro online

A library of Metro features and columns is available at www.noted.co.nz. Designed as a home for quality long reads and inspiring journalism, our website gives you current reviews, new food openings and guides to the city, plus all the best stories from the Listener and North & South. New at www.noted.co.nz 01-BEST OF WELLINGTON A city guide to all the must-dos on your trip to the nation’s capital. 02-UNWINDING COLONIAL LEGACIES Auckland Museum undergoes a cultural transformation. 03-FOOD: FIRST LOOKS The latest in restaurant, bar and cafe openings, including new Asian fusion restaurant Gao in Albany. 04-TOP 50 CHEAP EATS Fill your stomach with Auckland’s best for $20 or less. FOLLOW US- On Instagram, Twitter and Facebook, our username is @metromagnz METRO ON YOUR IPAD- Download…

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A Saturday night in December. You’re at the Basement, waiting for their annual Christmas show to start, and you’re really hoping it’s funny. The place is packed; you’re perched amid a chirruping nest of Aucklanders. To your left are a couple who will watch each other more than the show. To your right, a casting director with her own agenda. And yours? A few laughs would be good, thanks. The show is hilarious, so clever and so uncomplicated, easily the funniest thing you’ve seen on stage this year. You cry with laughter, a salute in the dark to the young women who created it and the young women on stage, their talent, their light. They remind you what a gift it is, this creative incubator in the city’s heart, humming…

01-You realise “dying of boredom” doesn’t qualify as a terminal illness under the new medicinal cannabis law, don’t you? 02-The pedestrianisation of Queen St: Wasn’t Dave Dobbyn playing the last time that happened? 03-Will Shaun Johnson come back and bite the Warriors on the bum? 04-Or does that sound a bit too much like the kind of thing that happens at a “Mad Monday” session? 05-Did all those tedious Santa controversies give talkback hosts an early Christmas? 06-Been banned from the Pride Parade yet? 07-If you wear handcuffs as a cock ring, are they still a “uniform”? 08- “Shortland Street: The Musical” — Is there a doctor in the house? 09-Does this mean “popular culture” just isn’t that popular? 10-Five top players signed in one season: Shouldn’t the…

Traffic nightmare Despite the $28 billion budget documented in the Auckland Transport Alignment Project (ATAP) announced recently, Auckland’s traffic is destined to continue to become worse. Why? Because the ATAP lacks innovation and aspirations. It has no new modes of transport and, despite the $28 billion, it will not provide world-class commuter travel. It continues the past record of Auckland choosing second-rate options, which started with the Harbour Bridge’s four lanes 20 years after Sydney’s 12-lane bridge was constructed. The initial construction of the intersections of SH1, Upper Harbour Highway and Paul Matthews Rd continued this. I became interested in Auckland’s transport when a letter to the Herald claimed that 150km of elevated rapid rail could be constructed for the cost of the City Rail Link. Auckland Transport’s (AT) construction…

Three readers whose letters to the editor are published in the next issue of Metro will receive an Auckland region map valued at $179. These beautiful 3D hydrographic maps are designed and created by The Furnace. Good design is central to everything this small New Zealand company does, from considering the use and look of every item, to all aspects of how it is made, assembled, packaged and shipped. Each art work is made of layers of sustainable bamboo ply and presented in an FSC timber frame, hand-painted using eco-friendly dyes and packaged in an elegant eco-friendly gift box. See thefurnace.co.nz for more. Terms and conditions: Entry is open to New Zealand residents. Employees of Bauer Media Group (LP) NZ, their affiliates, agencies and…

Shortland Street — The Musical opening night — ASB Waterfront Theatre 01-Abbi Lister & Anna-Maree Thomas. 02-Carla Van Zon & Angela Green. 03-A visitor from Hawke’s Bay, Luke Bird & Andrea Kelland. 04-Shoshana McCallum & Laura Hill. 05-Lily Galvin & Michael Galvin. 06-Robyn Malcolm. 07-Anna Jullienne & Antonia MacAvoy. 08-Vivien Sutherland Bridgwater & Graeme Pinfold. New Zealand Dance Company fundraiser — Civic Theatre Wintergarden 01-Belinda Simpson & Miriama Kamo. 02-Julie Hart & Jock Fowlie. 03-David Dorrington & Dona White. 04-Gabe McAlpine & Zane McAlpine. 05-James Wallace & Greg Innes. 06-Bruce Hopkins. 07-Hayley Elrick & Lori Harvey. 08-Greg Innes & Georgina Cervin.…

01- Untitled artwork (2016, oil on aluminium), by Saskia Leek, $7000, from Ivan Anthony; Twist pendant light (steel blue), $750, and glasses, by Monmouth Glass, $50 each ($300 set of six), all from Monmouth Glass Studios; carafe and stacking cup set, $365, from Tessuti. 02- Scottish cow horn cups, $30-95 (each); Northland kauri gum nugget, $250, both from@theregentvault. 03- Milla dining chair, by Sollos, $2065, orbit trays (silver plated, set of four), by Tom Dixon, $495, glass teacups (set of two), by Tom Dixon, $210, all from ECC; round velvet cushion (tan), $150, from Tessuti. 04- Globe cushion (chestnut brown), $160, from Tessuti; fan dining chair, by Tom Dixon, $1695, from ECC; glass (set of six mixed colours), by Monmouth Glass, $300, from Monmouth Glass Studios; Ottolenghi: Simple cookbook, $65,…

Festivals Auckland International Buskers Festival January 25-28 Streetside showcase of out-of-the-box talents. Auckland waterfront, aucklandbuskersfestival.co.nz Auckland Folk Festival January 25-28 Spend a long weekend out west awash with folky music and dance. Kumeu Showgrounds, aucklandfolkfestival.co.nz Electric Gardens February 2 Inaugural festival of electronica, headlined by big-beat pioneer Fatboy Slim. Ellerslie Racecourse, electricgardens.com.au Experimental Dance Week Aotearoa 2019 February 4-9 More than 25 artists present a week of convention-shattering dance. Basement Theatre, danz.org.nz The North West Wine, Beer & Food Festival February 9 Local brews, spills and tunes in green surrounds, with LA-based Kiwi songstress Gin Wigmore. The Hunting Lodge, eventfinda.co.nz Exhibitions Forever Until January 10 Tattoo artists from New Zealand and across the globe explore what “forever” means to them.…

Smells like summer

Festivals & events The best... New Year’s Eve party Wondergarden at Silo Park on December 31 offers a full afternoon and evening of food, drink and song, with a line-up including Ladi6, Peach Milk, Hugo Jay, Avantdale Bowling Club and JessB. One-stage wonder No fear of missing out at FOMO By Night on January 9 at Spark Arena: all the acts are on one stage, so you see the whole thing, including the Katayanagi Twins, Nicki Minaj and Lil Pump. R&B eats January 27, the Sunday of Auckland Anniversary Weekend, sees the inaugural Vine Days festival at Villa Maria Winery, featuring good food, good wines, and an R&B-themed lineup including Craig David, All Saints, Aaradhna and Opensouls. Tenth anniversary The 10th Laneway festival kicks off in Albert Park on January…

Smells like summer

Get Skinny for summer

Beach days, festival nights, and summer events call for an extra 2GB of free data with Skinny’s Free Data Weekends. With 2GB per weekend, on any mobile rollover plan, all summer long your data’s sorted for all your summer shenanigans. So get scrolling, snapping, and sharing today, with Skinny’s 2GB Free Data Weekends. Excludes Skinny Direct Customers. Last free data weekend ends March 3, 2019. Free weekend data does not rollover. Starts 5pm Friday and ends midnight Sunday. Terms and conditions apply.…

The Opposition’s best attack in 2018 was lampooning the Government’s 182 working groups, which it claims are costing taxpayers over $250 million. The Government denies both numbers, but even those totally uninterested in politics know why it is funny to say they’ll get a working group to clean the barbecue. Like the Key regime, Jacinda Ardern’s government was elected without any clear programme other than half a dozen one-liners developed solely for electoral appeal. Some of them, like the fees-free tertiary education promise, were surely designed simply to keep Labour’s vote respectable before another term in opposition, without any real intention they might be implemented. Nevertheless, most were ticked off quickly under Ardern’s so-called 100-Day Plan. The working groups enabled Ardern and her unexpected government to recover from the shock…

Most improved player

Have you ever wondered how to be a constant disappointment to strangers and friends alike? You just need to be tall, and bad at sport. Being over six feet tall with below-average sporting ability makes you the physical manifestation of over-promising and under-delivering. Just the act of existing, being seen, is an emotional rollercoaster with every first interaction. You must play basketball, they will say, peering up at you for the first time. No, you will reply. You’ll try to make clear that you don’t really know what you’re doing, but they’ll mistake it for humility. They won’t believe you. Until they see you play. But they will persist. You must have played netball then. Yes, you will say. But I was never any good, you’ll feel compelled to explain.…

Most improved player

Death of the gods

It’s a cold, crisp July morning in the Karekare Valley. I’ve been walking an hour in icy streams before I leave the track and head up through the dense bush. I’m on a mission to get to a stand of kauri that I’ve been watching for the last 20 years. They are giants. Healthy and strong and perhaps 1000 years old. Thousands like them once stood throughout the Waitakere Ranges, but these are the lucky ones. The cliffs saved them from the axes and saws of the Karekare millers and they have — so far — survived the dreaded kauri dieback. It’s a new death sentence on these glorious sky-reaching treasures of the New Zealand northern bush. Kauri dieback is sweeping through the northern forests and into the Waitakere Ranges…

Death of the gods

Dubious Achievements 2018

The Harley-Davidson Award for Late-life Craziness by a Silly Old Duffer goes to Neil Finn. We thought Finn had done pretty well for himself, what with the international hits generating a generous income, the two great bands — Split Enz and Crowded House — he’s been part of, the rich and evolving musical partnerships he’s had with brother Tim and other family members, the side projects he put together with stars from around the world, and the cool little Auckland studio through which he’s been able to share the love with other musicians. But all that wasn’t enough for the Neilster, apparently. Oh no. When he should be winding back and resting on his laurels, he’s only gone and joined frigging Fleetwood Mac, one of the biggest bands in the…

Dubious Achievements

2018

Critical thinking

For many of his toughest critics, the University of Auckland’s longstanding vice-chancellor, Stuart Mc-Cutcheon, is the archetypal manifestation of the free-market-era campus boss. At the library-closure protests in May, banners and placards reading “VC McCutcheon, Whose Side Are You On?” and “Stuart’s Got 2 Go” summed up a growing mood of discontent about his leadership and a sense of betrayal, particularly among arts students and faculty. (In fact, he is going: aged 65, he’s retiring at the end of 2019.) There’s his apparent fixation with STEM — science, technology, engineering and mathematics — and flash buildings to do it in. The $700,000 salary. The sharp suits. The Northern Club membership. The CEO swagger. On his watch, some of his critics say, top-down managerialism has become standard practice at the university,…

Critical thinking

1947 EATERY 60 Federal St, central city We’re partial to the food at this moody midtown Indian joint, but slipping in for pre-show drinks and snacks on the comfy brown couches in the bar appeals, too. Cocktail whizz Sahil Patel spends up to five hours prepping syrups, garnishes and infusions for his drinks each day. Try a gin and tonic made using barrel-aged, tea-infused gins matched with complimentary tonic waters. Go for—a bespoke cocktail, and a plate of curry-covered fries. ACHO’S St Kevin’s Arcade, 183 Karangahape Rd, K’ Rd Precinct Grab a spot at one of Acho’s high tables and watch the world go by over jugs of Orion and top-notch Japanese bar snacks. There’s a good selection of sake, shochu and plum wine, and if you’re in the mood…

Best bars

2018

Top 50 bars by suburb

CENTRAL CITY 1947 EATERY 60 Federal St BASEMENT THEATRE BAR Lower Greys Ave CARETAKER 38 Roukai Lane, Britomart COLEY & PUNCH Shed 22, 147 Quay Street, waterfront DR RUDI'S ROOFTOP BREWING CO. Cnr Quay and Hobson Sts, Viaduct Harbour FUKUKO 43 Tyler St, Britomart THE GIN ROOM 12 Vulcan Lane HOLEY MOLEY 204 Quay St, Viaduct Harbour HOUSE BAR › HOTEL DEBRETT 2 High St HUAMI BAR 87 Federal St MEZZE BAR 9 Durham St East MO’S 5 Federal St THE SUGAR CLUB Sky Tower, cnr Federal and Victoria Sts TALULAH 52 Tyler St SWASHBUCKLERS 238 Westhaven Drive, Westhaven VULTURES’ LANE 10 Vulcan Lane XUXU Cnr Commerce & Galway Sts DEVONPORT TINY TRIUMPHS 5 Clarence St EDEN TERRACE BEER JERK BUNKER 224 Symonds St GALBRAITH’S ALEHOUSE 2 Mt Eden Rd…

The really good thing about Cotto is that you — preferably as part of a group — can eat quite a lot of food and drink plenty of well-priced Chianti and Montepulciano and then roll out having felt like you were at the centre of something, all for about $70 each. I know, because every time I’ve been to Cotto, it seems to have cost about $70 each, no matter how hard I’ve tried to spend more. You’ll find Cotto on Karangahape Rd, across the road from Coco’s Cantina. It’s a long, industrial sort of space: steel doors, bare concrete floors, ducting. There are bare timber tables and long benches or stools, and the wine comes in tumblers, and the food — you should share, but you don’t have to…

Master of his craft

Sahil Patel, mixologist at 1947 eatery, knows that a great cocktail is about so much more than a pour of soda, nip of vodka and some ice garnished with a wedge of lime. That’s why he’s stepped things up a notch at 1947, a moody midtown bar and restaurant in Auckland’s CBD. Creating an extravagant list of bespoke cocktails, his attention to detail matches the level of care taken in the kitchen. “We take the drinks as seriously as the food,” he says. Testament to 1947’s commitment to quality, a giant 60-litre ice block replaces the need for an ice machine – Sahil chips individual pieces off the block to order, using them to keep customers’ drinks cool. The garnishes, syrups and infusions Sahil uses in his cocktails can take…

Master of his craft

Now I’ve had melanoma, I never go to the beach, but I once lived in bikini tops and cut-off shorts. One particular combination I wore for at least 12 years. I’d opened my first gallery on High St in May 1984. I showed Gordon Walters, Milan Mrkusich, Billy Apple, Stephen Bambury and Julia Morison. I got people’s backs up because a lot had been trying to get those artists for a long time. But if you’re genuine, and know your stuff — deep, authentic stuff, not theory and not schmoozing — that’s what makes the real art world go around. As soon as Fingers jewellery gallery opened in the 70s, I was buying there. I have the only seven-shell bangle (01) Warwick Freeman made. I’ve broken my outer shells a…

Distillation of taste

Simple pleasures… Smooth, full-bodied New Zealand Kamahi Honey folded through delicate Kapiti Chamomile Ice Cream is subtle and decadent. The iconic nature of ice cream is what makes it such a perfect dessert — and with its golden colour and creamy, fragrant flavours, Kapiti Chamomile and Salted Kamahi Honey Ice Cream is no exception. Complement with... The exotic freshness of pineapple provides the perfect foil for ice cream. Charring the pineapple adds a smoky depth to its traditional flavour, offsetting the sweet saltiness of kamahi honey and fragrant chamomile in the ice cream. Serve with a light riesling for an elegant dessert that sings the praises of summer. SET THE SCENE Summer entertaining calls for pretty, inspired scene setters. Think softly-coloured hues for serveware and fresh, crisp linens to showcase…

Distillation of taste

A crucible for joy

REVIEW - FRANCES WALSH Swim: A Year of Swimming Outdoors in New Zealand Annette Lees Potton & Burton, $39.99 Annette Lees has written a charming almanac, in which she details 365 consecutive swims around New Zealand, one taking place on January 6 at Te Henga/ Bethells Beach: “Early swim. Rising tide. Sea alive. Surf’s up.” The quotidian record is interspersed with snippets, facts and tales of waterways and swimming — outdoor swimming that is, “not its distant cousin: pee-warm, chlorine-soaked indoor-pool swimming”. For only outdoor swimming, writes Lees, provides “that singular crucible for joy and fear that so refreshes our soul”. One or two of Lees’ swims, it has to be said, would seem not to technically qualify as such, but readers will admire her feint. Her diary entry from…

A crucible for joy

Festival fever in Sydney

A summer holiday in Sydney is always a good idea, thanks to the sparkling weather, beaches, galleries, food and more. But it’s an especially good idea from January 9-27, when Sydney Festival takes over the city with an explosion of cultural activities. Here are four top reasons to jump on a plane and be a culture vulture this summer. #1 SUNSHINE AND FREE OUTDOOR ART Sydney in January is warm, picturesque and drenched in sunshine, so your best bet is to get outdoors and explore. Sydney Festival features four free outdoor art installations dotted around the city, all within walking or cycling distance of each other. One sculpture, ALWAYS, sits on the harbour’s edge and recognises Aboriginal sovereignty over the land, while the three other interactive art works (including Moon…

Festival fever in Sydney

Now we’re cooking

Tasting India Christine Manfield Simon & Schuster, $59.99 Celebrated Australian chef Christine Manfield navigates narrow alleyways and crowded market gardens to pen this gastronomical love letter to India. A testament to how diverse “Indian food” can be, it sweeps through Kolkata, Varanasi, Kerala, Mumbai and beyond for regional delicacies like coastal Goa’s array of seafood-based curries and Gujarat’s spiced vegetarian snacks. It doesn’t quite do it justice to call this a recipe book — it’s bound to become a well-thumbed directory and, more than likely, inspiration for a trip overseas. Kiwi Baker at Home Dean Brettschneider Potton & Burton, $49.99 This new offering from The Great Kiwi Bake Off co-judge Dean Brettschneider is all about getting the basics right, particularly when it comes to bread. A daily timeline for how…

Now we’re cooking

Let’s Go… Melbourne

When Peter Temple died in March, fellow Australian crime writer Shane Maloney said he “was to terse blokes with hard jobs and wounded souls what Proust was to memory. He made every sentence count and shot the stragglers.” To assess the valedictorian’s accuracy, turn to Temple’s four Jack Irish novels, published between 1996 and 2003, set in contemporary Melbourne, and with opening lines to rival Daphne du Maurier’s “Last night I dreamt I went to Manderley again.” Here’s Temple in Bad Debts: “I found Edward Dollery, age forty-seven, defrocked accountant, big spender and dishonest person, living in a house rented in the name of Carol Pick.” In Black Tide: “In the late autumn, down windy streets raining yellow oak and elm leaves, I went to George Armit’s funeral. It was…

Let’s Go… Melbourne

Dead in the water

Another wretched waterfront stadium. We’ve been subjected to a string of these mad, grand designs since 2006. So many schemes, so much nuttiness, so déjà vu. This latest incarnation, the Bledisloe Wharf sunken-stadium-for-free fantasy, began with the usual breathless over-excitement. October 19, 2018: “Jaw-dropping plans for a new National Stadium sunken into the Auckland waterfront are being unveiled today…,” gushed the Herald’s Bernard Orsman. Hyperbole that was depressingly similar to April 30, 2017: “Jaw-dropping concepts for an iconic new national stadium have been pitched to Auckland Council, proposing a state-of-the-art arena be submerged into the city's waterfront,” enthused the Herald’s Simon Plumb. We have design and marketing man Phil O'Reilly to thank for this bonkers idea, which emerged some years after the Warren and Ma-honey design for a stadium for…

Dead in the water

To the provinces

In 2018, a shoulder-shrugging fug seemed to settle over the Auckland art world: a lack of blockbusters at the Auckland Art Gallery; a lot of dreary, over-curated thematic exhibitions in other public spaces; an absence of intelligent, regular exhibition reviewing; and a dealer scene that felt, too often, like it was simply going through the commercial motions. There were some highlights, sure — Ruth Buchanan winning the Walters Prize, Susan Te Kahurangi King’s wild, brilliant drawings at Artspace (which only just survived the heavy-handed exhibition design), Kalisolaite ’Uhila’s performance work at Michael Lett — but on the whole, things were a bit… meh. It’s a worry for a city that has so long prided itself on being the beating heart of New Zealand’s contemporary art scene. But it’s also helped…

To the provinces

Tortured artists

At Eternity’s Gate Directed by Julian Schnabel “Maybe God made me a painter for people who aren’t born yet,” says Willem Dafoe’s van Gogh. There’s an inescapable dramatic irony to every biopic — we know how the story ends. But this is next level. The post-Impressionist masterpieces that launched a million greeting cards with well over a billion dollars in sales and stood in for sensitivity on every other student’s wall were originally considered so intense and confronting that he is known to have sold only one painting in his entire lifetime. Julian Schnabel’s sensual, immersive film shows us a tragedy bigger than simple poverty while contending with the ubiquity of the paintings themselves and our instant familiarity with the sad, short life of Vincent van Gogh. It’s a life…

Tortured artists

Hollie goes lightly

TINY RUINS OLYMPIC GIRLS (Ursa Minor) It must be a hard thing to live down, this queen of New Zealand’s folk revival tag. And how to follow up a record as great as Brightly Painted One ? That 2014 album was near-perfect in its lustrous reinvention of a style made famous by doomed English minstrel Nick Drake — a haunted gothic folk that entranced and beguiled. It’s taken four long years but Hollie Fullbrook has found a way to navigate her way forward without simply repeating herself, yet without losing what made her music so compelling in the first place. There’s been an awful lot of touring and international attention and a few intriguing if flawed diversions, like the rather aimless EP recorded with The Clean’s Hamish…

Hollie goes lightly

THIS JUST IN...

RUSSIAN JACK PINOT GRIS Russian Jack was a mysterious and much loved ”swagger” who was welcomed onto farms around New Zealand, picking fruit into his old age. This Pinot Gris is new to the family and already it has picked up Gold at the New Zealand Wine of the Year Awards and the New Zealand International Wine Show. RRP $19. Available from Countdown and New World. THIS IS SO, AUCKLAND International luxury lifestyle hotel SO/ Auckland has opened in the heart of the city. Whether it’s sipping custom-made cocktails at the rooftop bar HI-SO while taking in the panoramic views of the Waitemata Harbour, or enjoying a taste of French inspiration at Harbour Society — helmed by French chef Marc de Passorio, former owner of Michelin-starred restaurant L’Esprit de la…

THIS JUST IN...

DINING — TRY THESE...

RAMEN DO 167 Symonds St Eden Terrace , Auckland Ph 09 377 1313 We make our own noodles every day. We especially recommend Hokkaido miso ramen — our chef trained in Hokkaido, Japan, learning the secrets of how to make it. CHARLIES GELATO 17 Sharp Rd Matakana charliesgelato.co.nz At Charlies, they scoop their own award-winning, handmade, small-batch gelato and sorbetto. Over the summer period there is wood-fired pizza and fresh strawberries, blueberries and citrus, when in season. Join Charlies in their gelato garden for a well-deserved break! BLACK DOG CAFE 23 Matakana Valley Rd Matakana Ph 09 422 9130 Black Dog Cafe is renowned for its custom Black Dog Blend coffee, great food, friendly staff — and did we mention the great coffee? KAI PASIFIKA 3 Mount Eden Rd Eden…

DINING — TRY THESE...

To her with love: thoughtful last-minute Valentine gifts Tie a bow around the neck of the pit puppy you found roaming loose after dark in Henderson. Service station flowers, but lose the cellophane and arrange in an empty chimichurri jar (rinse first). Leave a Peanut Slab on the dashboard all day and then squish it into a heart shape as you pull into the drive. Print out a Minions meme (any Minions meme) and glue it to the front of last year’s card. Kmart is always open for last-minute gifts, but don’t forget she’s already seen every single thing in Kmart. Pros and cons of a car-free central city Con: Have to walk even further in bare feet to a taxi while clutching a pair of heels and a McDonald’s…

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