Bad Ass F*cking Kid

Love him or loathe him, Virginia rapper Nettspend’s blasted, sense-defying flows are the sound of a world still busy being born. But ask him how he became the face of hip hop’s new gen at 17, and he’ll tell you to talk to his monkey

EMMA MADDEN

Nettspend is about to introduce his son. The 17-year-old rapper’s A&R tells me to wait around the corner – he’s just “being prepared”. When he finally arrives, everyone here – the A&R, three of Nettspend’s homies – cheers. Everyone except Nettspend, who wears the same half-glum, half-asleep look as his son, who he calls Elijah. Elijah is no larger than a bottle of ketchup, his little ear around the same size as one of Nettspend’s bitten-down nails, his hand the size of the heart-o-gram tattoo on Nett’s thumb. His eyelashes flutter and his dark hair stands patchy on his head. He is swaddled up in his father’s arms, a white towel over his haunch. Elijah is a monkey. A tiny baby monkey that Nettspend, who now has access to everything…

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Dazed & Confused (Digital) - 1 Issue, Spring 2025

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